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Wednesday, May 29, 2024

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    Overcoming Self Limiting Voices And Beliefs And Moving Forward With Joy

    Overcoming Self Limiting Voices And Beliefs And Moving Forward With Joy

    IS IT JUST ME OR IS IT STARTING TO FEEL LIKE SUMMER? This is the first year where I’m actually considering getting togs and swimming. It’s a big deal for me as like a lot of people, I was really severely bullied about being fat when I was a kid. In fact it was so bad for me, and so traumatic, that I couldn’t go near the water and I can’t actually swim! You’d think now – 40 years later – I should be over it but even the thought of getting in the water makes my stomach churn – however, I’m ready to do this. It’s been a great reminder to me of how powerful words can be, and that NOW is the perfect time to write my new story.

    So how do you re-write programming, remove the bullies voices or the voices and opinions of people you may even love and respect (but sometimes say pretty cruel things…..) and move forward with courage and joy?  Here’s my thoughts:

    Avoid engaging in victim-thinking.

    I’ve done it and more recently as I’ve been unwell, I’ve hosted many a self pity party. Allowing yourself to dwell on what happened to you, or what people have said to you – or about you – by reliving it over and over again, keeps you in ‘victim-mode’ rather than ‘overcomer-mode’. You may never forget what happened to you, or what people said: but you don’t have to let it control you or monopolise your thoughts. Let the past stay in the past. Instead consider: How do you want to create your future?

    Find deeper meaning in what happened to you.

    I hate the phrase ‘everything happens for a reason…’ Meh. Sometimes things just suck. While it’s true that a bully victimises people, we don’t have to let their words be our truth. Traumatic circumstances in our lives can also be crippling, but moving forward from them is possible when we re-focus on how we’ve grown through this experience. It could be an opportunity to find out a little more about yourself – how you’re stronger than you thought, more resilient or have become more assertive…..Finding the win in a situation isn’t about finding a silver lining – it’s about helping you find where your place of power is through your experience and celebrating it. 

    Develop awareness of your emotional triggers.

    Have you always been an emotional eater like me? It’s hideous right? When you’ve been bullied or experienced trauma, it’s pretty common to feel a bit of anxiety for no apparent reason and try to medicate with food. In reality, what is happening is that you saw something, smelled something or tasted something that reminded you of the bullying you experienced or the hard times you’ve been through. Don’t be alarmed. Instead, make a mental note of what is causing the feelings to rise up again. Step away from the pantry. Have a glass of water. And when the feelings do occur, it might help to engage in positive self-talk or to reframe your thinking to help you write that new story. Homeopathy has also helped me tremendously. Shout out to my Naturopath Lynette Hill!

    Recognise that your feelings are normal reactions to abnormal circumstances.

    Even though you may feel like your life is out of control, or that you are going a bit crazy, these are normal reactions to the stress that bullying and trauma leaves behind. Accept that it is normal to feel this way, but make it a goal to overcome these feelings with healthy thoughts andfeelings. Consciously controlling what you think and do is the way to overcome this, so for every negative thought or anxious tummy pang you feel, find a win in your life. And like my very insightful partner Pete always says ‘if you can find just one more win than a loss, technically and statistically, you’re a winner…..’ I concur.

    If any of this has resonated with, let me know! I love hearing back from you through these newsletters. And remember too, I have access to amazing health and wellness professionals who can help you if you need a little assistance. Just ask.  Finally, feel free to join my FB group! The people in there are amazing and we’re all on the same journey together. We’d love to see you there.

    Stay fabulous X

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    Hi I'm Monique Bradley.

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