Finding Motivation When You Want To Give Up
Hi, It’s Monique here. How you going?? I wrote part of this content for a recent newsletter but decided add to it and turn it into a blog as many people emailed me after reading this, saying either how timely the content was or that they appreciated the tips as they were struggling too.
Recently I’ve had a really hard time and basically have felt like I wanted to give up. It was pretty scary to be honest, as I’m always a ‘full of beans’ kind of gal, ready to take on the world! After speaking to a number of people I realised we all had the same symptoms. Turns out I was struggling with a horrible, debilitating virus that felt like the glandular fever I battled with in my early 20’s, however with glandular fever, I spent around 6 weeks struggling to get out of bed. In this instance, I was still kind of functioning in my work, but some days wanted to have a sleep mid way through a meeting or struggled to meet deadlines, purely because I didn’t have the energy to keep going! And the worse part is that I was so fatigued that I just wanted to give up, cry, go to bed and either eat or not eat. I felt like a complete failure. So how do you find motivation to keep going and stick to your goals – what ever they may be – when you want to give up?
It’s been really hard to be honest, hence, I wanted to share this challenging time and particularly the tools I am using to get through it. While I’ve always been a believer that ‘a trouble shared is a trouble doubled’, I think it’s important that if we have learnings come through from a challenging situation that it’s good to share the steps to overcoming that challenge right? You never know when someone else may need your wisdom.
So, firstly: What did I learn through this time?
1. That it’s ok to rest.
2. That I can eat comfort food and still stay on track (now that I know what works for my body!) or that it’s ok not to eat too. So long as I LISTEN to my body and not drown out it’s voice with my ‘Should do’s’ or Shouldn’t do’s’ we’re ok.
3. That sometimes we just don’t feel great and that’s ok. However, if one grey day turns into another, it’s important to talk to someone and get some help. And that’s ok too.
Being honest
I remember a number of years ago, I bumped into a lady I knew who asked me how I was. I looked at her and said ‘I’m a bit crap today actually.’ The woman nearly burst into tears! It turned out she’d been having a hard time and was feeling overwhelmed. Her comment to me: ‘I just didn’t want to admit to you that I’m feeling bad, as I look at you and your life is amazing, and you’re always so happy and everything looks great on social media and that makes it hard to talk to you……’
I was a little shocked to say the least. I can, hand on heart, tell anyone that my life is far from perfect and while I endeavour to share a lot of ideas to help lift people up to have a better life, I still have to work at it every day too. That’s my commitment to me: and to being honest. I’m not saying we need to drown ourselves in self pity but sometimes it’s kind of freeing to admit that life isn’t always AMAZING. For me, an eternal optimist, this felt like a huge relief as once I can admit that I don’t feel great, I can start to take steps to make things better.
We all know that life is challenging and those challenges can sometimes compound to the point where we feel numb, neglect ourselves, our health and of course, our weight loss goals by turning to ‘cheat foods’ as medicine, as an example. Sadly, this short term band aid is not the best solution, with weight gain, bloating or discomfort adding to the feeling of failure. So how do we overcome this?
Here’s what’s working for me
- Consciously eat good food. Nobody forces food into your face. You hold your health in your hands so make your food choices consciously. We all know that the chemistry of what we eat significantly affects our physical health so use food as medicine THE RIGHT WAY. Eat more plant. Your body will love you for it. (By they way, if you need some recipe ideas, HERE’S A LINK)
- Talk to someone. I know I’ve written about this before, but it does help. Find a safe person and be open to them challenging your thoughts.
- Move. Get out! Go for a walk. I don’t care if it’s 50 metres, so long as you move.
- Watch more comedy. Over the last 3 weeks as I’ve had to spend a lot of time resting, I’ve watched nearly every episode of ‘The Big Bang Theory’. A good belly laugh is medicine for the soul.
- Change your playlist. Music plays such an important part in our lives as it’s EVERYWHERE! From advertising, to a cafe, to the places we shop and the car journey on the ride home, it fills our mind with messaging and can activate that emotional centre connected to some of our deepest memories. FYI: Here’s a little funny for you – I still remember the song that was playing on ‘RTR Countdown’ on TV when I had my first phone call from a boy. I was 12. I couldn’t talk to him till I’d brushed my hair. LOL. WHAT?? We have many happy memories attached to the soundtrack of our lives, so either link back to those happy memories via Youtube or your preferred music provider, or create a new happier, more joyful playlist. It will lift your mood and remind you to smile and have more fun!
Getting help
By the way, if you can’t shift the funk, or your fatigue or discomfort is going on for a little too long, talk to a health professional. I’ve been working with my naturopath Lynette Hill who came to my rescue with some amazing remedies to boost my immune system and smash this virus on the head. 24 hours later and I’m starting to feel like a mostly functioning human again! Long may it continue.
And finally……
I hope that helps if you’re struggling a bit and whether it’s a virus that triggered it, like it did for me, or if your general sense of motivation or self worth is really challenged right now, I ask you: what’s one thing you can do for YOU right now, that will serve your health, serve your body or remind you that you are amazing? Take some time to think about it and DO IT. It only takes one tiny step in the right direction to get the ball rolling.
Be well and stay fabulous,
Monique X
Hi I'm Monique Bradley.